For quite some time, I’ve wanted to write about getting things done when there’s an overwhelming amount of other things we could be doing. The average perrson would say it’s best to focus on the most important things and do away with the distractions that constantly hold you back. There’s a problem with this, however: you may often find yourself thinking, “But what if I did this instead?” It becomes a continual struggle to locate your true priorities and carry them out. If you have this problem, I don’t claim to be able to help you, but I do have something for you to think about.
I have a new habit of making lists for everything. In my Simplenote account, I have lists ranging from music I must remember to places I wish to visit to arbitrary thoughts and things to do when I’m bored (which, thanks to technology, is never — I miss it). There’s always something needing attention, if I have the time. Unfortunately, I never feel as if I do. I’m always putting things off until later, telling myself, “Don’t worry, that’ll be there when I’m waiting for something.” I never review the lists during these scenarios, though.
Previously, I’ve written about accepting that wishes have an expiration date and trying to do everything at once. These are related, but I’ve recently found that there’s a broader subject to be found. Even though it’s nice to strive toward something, whether it’s a new car or a wedding, it’s very hard to remember that there’s so much more than just our agenda. We get so tangled in the spider web of daily tasks that we fail to remember the world — the people — around us and their well-being. Even if we do keep this in mind per diem, it’s incredibly difficult to concentrate on what seems like a small work issue when people are dying of cancer two blocks away (hypothetical).
I’m not trying to make anyone feel guilty about not caring enough, I’m merely pointing out how hard it is to focus our care. For years, I haven’t shown enough love to those around me. I was more friendly to people I saw once or twice a month than my own family. It wasn’t that I had no love to show, but rather that I did not wish to take the time to do so. I now sit here empty, disheartened by these previous offenses, as they were. How could I ever disregard these feelings for more selfish ones? As Nathan Edwardson’s father told to him, our family will never forget our name — at least, they shouldn’t — which is why we should invest everything in it (paraphrased from a sermon neither he nor I can find online). So why have I wasted my time thinking about wasting my time caring about those who have unconditionally loved me my entire life?
Lately, I’ve been fixed on thinking about my own feelings. I’ve been too busy to care about my sister who might be struggling with school. Instead, I either focus on my own problems or my friends’. When I’m busy doing this, I don’t feel as if I’m hurting someone else; instead, I am the problem and I must repair myself. I’ve been so busy — I’m beginning to dislike this word — fixing things that I forgot what I’m doing on this planet.
Broadening things a bit, this problem is the same with social issues. Despite what we may claim of “being able to handle X”, we wouldn’t be able to choose what to back if we were presented with pressing matters — it’s all so crucial. (This is, of course, assuming that “we” have a honorable moral standard.) We’d feel very guilty and regretful for supporting one thing over the other because one may prove to be even more significant in the future. I, for one, would feel that it is my fault something was passed into law — that I had the power to stop it, but did nothing.
A great example is the food industry. My mother has been trying to tell me about this for years. Only recently did I see what a mess the trade really is. Following this, I no longer care about what corporations are feeding animals, but rather how they are treating them. It hurts my heart to see this kind of abuse just so we needy humans can eat. What has happened to ethics in this world? Most people would prefer to remain blissfully ignorant, because conflict is too difficult to carry out effectively. This lack of confidence on the average person’s part leads to the very corruption of once-great countries like the United States. It leads to people like me doubting that there is hope for the human race.
When a large group of people lose focus, insignificant issues are tackled in the place of major ones. We waste our time going to the moon and fighting wars when we could be making the world a better place. But hey, there’s that corruption in effect.
This all makes me realize that I am so very inconsequential when compared to the magnitude of this world’s many problems. It makes me anxious to fix them all, and yet helpless, lacking confidence at the same time. Where has my energetic optimism gone when it’s most needed? Maybe that’s why it’s above my pay grade. Similarly, that could also be why I need to do something.