[dropcap]Y[/dropcap]ou've undoubtedly heard that tagline somewhere before. Maybe a hippie — no offense to them, they're cool — talked about living in the moment. Or you heard an elderly person discussing how the youth always need to have things instantly and patience is lost.
In the queue waiting for coffee this morning, you may have heard a couple discussing whether or not to save money for the future.
At one time or another, you think to yourself, "Should I do this now or wait until the next chance?" only to never see another come round.
Both of these are examples of what a person thinks today. It's a hard decision: live in the moment or build a life. Everyone has to make that choice at least once in their lives because there's no out. I personally have a conflict in my life that often stops me from doing work. I start thinking about whether or not what I'm writing will be valued for all time. I always saw this as a career, until I thought about it more.
Do I want to matter to the world or do I just want to be another person who sometimes has good things to say? Before today I didn't know. I thought I wanted to build a life, have a prosperous career, and get married to have children: the things that all people do. I thought that if everyone else has done this, it must work. Not so.
After reevaluating things, I discovered that what I am doing with my days is not exactly affecting people in the way that I had hoped. Deep down, I've always thought that people would remember me if I wrote words about current topics. I had the false belief that people cared, until I looked through the eyes that each of those people do.
I don't see what I'm doing as a long-term career anymore. In fact, all I see it as now is a temporary place that makes money. Maybe writing will be what I do with my life, but it's probably not going to be in this category. Technology can be beneficial to some and provide jobs for others, but I don't even understand what we're doing with it. Is the point of electronics to help us learn, connect, feel cooler, improve the world, or fill that hole? Isn't that last one what God — or any deity, for that matter — is for? If technology could help me understand itself, it would have a paradoxical point. But I still don't see why people care to advance. What, besides knowledge, is so good about progress? (We're always trying to be better, but why?) I see no problem with a simple life, even though I don't live one.
I get so caught up in the moment that I forget about the bigger plan. The one I had arranged doesn't seem so interesting to me anymore. When I'm writing a post, my passion for talking about a subject is rejuvenated, but only for that short session, then I forget all about why I cared. If it's that easy to forget, this must be the wrong thing.
Almost every night, I go to sleep thinking "Okay, I'm going to fix this problem with my life tomorrow" or "Finally I have a plan and I'm going to fulfill it!" but I never do anything. I wake up in the morning to my sunlit ceiling, not caring about previous plans, and get ready to do whatever work must be done for the day. My potential energy is consistently drowned out by the sound of the outside world that hasn't even touched my mind yet. Every morning is like this, and it's not going to be easy stopping it.
What do I enjoy doing more than anything? Playing, listening to, and helping along with the production of music. So why am I not out pursuing that dream? People have asked me the same about many things I've done over the years. They say I'm good with computers and should pursue a career in that. My question is always "to what end?" Now I've found myself asking that question about a career that I devised. But everybody makes mistakes.
I feel like I've been wasting all my time living every day separately. There is no connected plan because I don't give my life enough attention to make one. If I am to excel in something that I love, I have to start by doing it. I've already started my dream and luckily I have located the largest road block. That doesn't mean this is going to be a seamless journey into the bliss world of dreams. I want it to be a journey, and that's a byword for adventure in my world.
Take the chance, but don't waste your time. Live your life with friends at your side; if you don't have any, be determined to find them. You should care because this is what your life is built of. Temporary fillers will never suffice because you always need one. It's like pain medication for your entire life.